Today is not a good day for me. I felt SHITTY! I don't know how come I could be so STUPID to fail my retest! I've been given 2 chances, yet I didn't manage to pass the same topic! I'm so annoyed and irritated by the answers that I gave. I could easily earn 2 marks to be 80% but NO! I didn't check through my answers and that ended me with 2 marks less. ARGGGGGGHHHH!!!
I was close to crying in class today. I still cannot get over my STUPIDITY! YES! I'm given the last chance before the SVC (answering live calls with supervisors around). I NEED TO SCORE WELL FOR THIS TEST! I will and DEFINITELY make it! I don't want to let down on people who supported me throughout and I will make them proud.
As of now, I just need to be alone and grab myself together again. I'm not saying that I'm going to shut myself from people, but I just need some space for myself so I can relieve my stress and think through. It is ridiculous, of course.
I put up a false front after lunch so my colleagues won't feel weird. During lunch time I was super quiet and they told me that I am not myself. I'm suppose to be bubbly, they say and they are not used to my quietness. Haiz... I also nearly cried during lunch.
Oh well, it's done and nothing I can do to reverse back the time. I believe now that I've been given another chance, my trainer, Peng Khoon have faith in me that I will do well as a CSO. I must not let him and my love ones down. I will pass for SURE! I NEED TO STUDY EXTRA SMART now! To readers who is reading this blog entry now, pray for me okie? Thanks lots!
I'm super tired now. Just finish jogging and resting before I shower up. Right! Take care!!
Till then
Afifah Ali
